Packing my (day) bag for the hospital

Surgery is set for tomorrow

I’ve long thought that there is only one happy reason to go to the hospital: to have a baby.

Any other reason, I had told myself, was bad news.

Well, I’ve been working hard to re-frame that thinking since learning that I need part of my parathyroid gland surgically removed.

Of course, it’s hard to be happy about surgery, but I can tell you that I am feeling thankful that such a procedure exists and that the prognosis is positive. I am grateful for my surgeon and her medical team and for the fact that I have access to excellent medical care. I recognize that this is a privilege that too many Americans are without—something that must change.

I’m also grateful that this is going to happen tomorrow— Monday, December 20th— instead of in January, thanks to a cancellation (and maybe my persistence). I didn’t hesitate when the receptionist called last week to offer me the earlier spot. As is the case with so many things in life, the anticipation has felt worse that the actual event. I will be happy to get to the other side.

In the meantime, I pray

• that I remain healthy to have the procedure.

• that I can sleep tonight.

• that my surgeon will have gotten a good night’s sleep and be able to see exactly what needs to remain and what needs to excised. May her mind be sharp and her fingers nimble.

• that the anesthesia will be just the right amount, to enable me to sleep peacefully throughout the procedure and wake up when it’s over.

• that the surgery will do what it’s supposed to do: that my PTH (parathyroid hormone) and calcium levels will normalize and that, as a result, I’ll start feeling better. May I please make a swift and steady recovery, in mind, body, and spirit.

• that my beloved Jeremy will be strong and healthy. May my kids be understanding and supportive of each other. I love them all so much.

My day bag is just about packed: I have identification, my original vaccination card, comfy socks, a playlist of healing songs to get me through what I expect will be a long wait (thank you, Tamar!), and some bone broth to break my fast.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate any light you can shine my way on Monday. My surgery is scheduled for 3:30 pm ET.

With love and courage,

Loren