Reflections on Turning 55
I’m turning 55 this Friday, May 23! Happy birthday to me! This past year has felt like 55 years compressed into one! Is this what happens when you’re in your sixth decade of life?
I’ve been anticipation my 55th for years, thanks to a silly dad joke that Jeremy made long before he ever became a father, during our courtship in Tokyo, where we met 28 years ago. As some of you know, Japanese is our Yiddish, the language we speak when we don’t want our kids to know what we’re saying, and there are times we speak it together, alone, because it’s fun.
When we first met, Jeremy was particularly fascinated with the number “55,” go-jyu-go, in Japanese because of how it sounds when pronounced slowly. Now, I’m not going to explain it any further, but say it enough times, in an American accent, while thinking about our religion, and you’ll understand why I rolled my eyes when I first heard him say it. Now I laugh!
Why has this year felt like 55 years rolled into one?
Probably because it has been dominated by our youngest daughter’s diagnosis and management of AMPS (Amplified Muscular-Skeletal Pain Syndrome). This is not an easy one. At her worst, in January, she was using a wheelchair and homebound. She’s back in school part-time and has a fabulous team of clinicians helping her. The way Jeremy and I parent is forever changed, thanks in part to getting good help ourselves. The support group I participate in through Creative Healing for Youth in Pain has been phenomenal.
The silver lining is that after years of saying no, Jeremy and I finally capitulated to our daughter’s wishes and adopted a puppy. For those of you who know me, you know this was an act of desperation. I never considered myself a “dog” or “animal’ person, though that changed nearly three years ago, when we brought home five hens from our daughter’s sleep away camp. Our flock is now nine strong, and, yes, we’re the grateful recipients of delicious eggs nearly every day.
We thought having chickens would be enough to appease our animal-loving daughter, but, no, when it became clear that her physical limitations were impacting her mental health, we got way out of our comfort zone and brought home Winnie (photo above by my dear friend, Laurie Wolko). She’s a “double doodle,” part poodle, part Goldendoodle, and part Labrador Retriever, and she’s affectionate, fun, and an absolute joy. Susan Garrett’s Homeschool the Dog and Crate Games —as well as her podcast “Shaped by Dog” — have been the bedrock of our training, and I’m part of the inaugural class of the Conservation Dogs Program through the NY-NJ Trails Conference in which we’re training our dogs to detect invasive species through their olfactory senses!
Time outdoors continues to be important to me, and towards that end, I volunteer with the National Canoe and Safety Patrol (NCSP) on the Delaware River and as a paddling leader with the Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC). In addition to organizing a retreat for JMacforFamilies held at the AMC Harriman Outdoor Center last July, I’ve led paddles on different lakes in Harriman State Park and nearby rivers.
In celebration of my birthday on Friday, I’ll be paddling on a lake in northern New Jersey. Please join me! If you’re interested, please send me a private message, and I’ll send you the meetup details.
This will likely be my first time getting back on the water after having my paddling skills tested in unforeseen ways on Mother’s Day, during an AMC trip that Jeremy and I led down the Ramapo River, near our home. Everyone was okay, but we—and others—hit a nasty strainer, capsized, and rescued ourselves. After letting go of our canoe, I slammed against a tree and was fortunate that I had the strength (and wits) to climb over it and then get myself to shore, only the beginning of my rescue journey! I’m writing about it, partly as a way to process the trauma, and as a way to share the take away: if you’re going to paddle, be prepared to rescue yourself!
I remain ever-committed to passing the Family Miranda Act (A1234/S551) and the Anti-Harassment in Reporting Bill (A66/S550). The latter is close to passing (it passed in the Senate of the NY State Legislature yesterday (May 19, 2025: Breaking news!), but still needs to pass in the Assembly. The Miranda Act is still stuck in the Committee for Families and Children. Please, New Yorkers, as your birthday gift to me, take 10 minutes out of your day and call your NY State Assembly Member and Senator and tell them to pass these bills. When you’re done, send me a private message and let me know that you did. Thank you! And if you’re opposed to these bills, let’s talk!
Please let me know what you’d like me to address in future posts: Parenting a child with chronic pain? Parenting an adult child with autism and the process of securing legal guardianship? How I overcame my diagnosis of osteoporosis (you heard that correctly: my latest DEXA shows I no longer have osteoporosis!). Dog training as a first-time dog owner who never ever imagined (or wanted) to own a dog? Conservation work? Or do you want to know more about why I’m so passionate about the above legislation? Whatever the case, I’d love to hear from you!
To health, healing, and the best year yet,
Loren
PS If you live near me and are not keen on the water, here’s a land-based suggestion: Go see The Nance at the Elmwood Playhouse in Nyack, New York (through June 7, 2025). Set in Greenwich Village, in the 1930s, it showcases a heartbreaking love affair of performers on the raucous burlesque circuit. As expected, there’s entertaining dancing and singing, as well as a plethora of political references regarding the Roosevelt/La Guardia era that resonate today.